This article approaches the current state of qualitative inquiry by constructing an allegory of neo-imperialism. It is based substantively on a history and contemporary anthro-politics of the Congo and in particular the city of Kisangani; metaphorically on Conrad's unsettling deployment of that same place as "the heart of darkness"; and ironically on homologies between certain kinds of quantitative (and sometimes qualitative) inquiry that currently seek to colonize and civilize unruly educational discourses. Overall it draws on postmodernist/poststructuralist theoretical and narrative strategies, and on philosophies of difference, in order to explore novel ways of thinking and telling the Other to the Same. (Contains 5 notes.)