This article is about missed opportunities for promoting learning and growth in our increasingly diverse classrooms and the fundamental affective and social questions we need to address if we are to teach about diversity effectively. It is about the need to develop trust within diverse groups, so that students can learn from each others' differences, confront their own assumptions and biases and prepare for engaged citizenship. To address the affective dimensions of this pedagogical work, this article synthesizes educational research on the impact of diversity, social science research on the impact of trust, and psychoanalytic literature on how we respond to and negotiate difference.