In this article, a deconstructive "survol" of the term "standards" suggests that the concept contributes to an "outside-in" professionalism masquerading as "inside-out" professionalism. In examining a case of "standards" in action, the authors point out the inadequacy of "standards" as tools of appraisal with remainders, reductions, displacements, elisions and embellishments--"mistranslations"--being inevitable. The second part of the article addresses the external world of standards, as a form of power applied by state agencies to professional work and identity, in which the application of standards typically strip out subjectivity, and with it much of the immeasurable dimensions that constitute professional action. Rather than writing off "standards" as yet another bureaucratic self-delusion, the authors take note of Strathern's call for a "new political and managerial discourse of uncertainty" and suggest that professional or peer review would benefit if parties to the appraisal process, "inter alia," undertake the "risk" of decision, acknowledge the inevitability of "incomplete evidence", engage in extended empathy and avoid overly reductive quantification. (Contains 8 notes.)