Research into the practice of academics serves to inform higher education development (HED) theory and interventions, and is important for the development of the professional knowledge of the HED practitioner. Through such research HED practitioners gain access to what in another context is referred to as "guilty knowledge". The complex ethical and methodological challenges faced by HED researchers "researching in their own backyard" may often be underestimated or overlooked in research proposals and practice. I propose that Heidegger's conceptualisation of "aporia" may extend our awareness beyond ethical customs and procedures to the underlying ontological nature of research ethics.