Being a first-year teacher in New York City is not easy. The author received much of the same preparation and advice that he and his colleagues give their students. But even the best education courses and a positive student teaching experience do not seem to be enough to take the edge off of a year he remembers barely surviving. The author describes the difference between student teaching and living through one's first year of teaching with a "car wash" metaphor. The writing presented in the second part of this article is a compilation of excerpts taken from the notebook of a Brooklyn high school teacher, Kim Kelly. Each summer, Kim sits down and writes the story of the previous school year in one day. She thinks back over the year and writes down everything that comes to mind, her feelings about the events, and her reflections. That first year, the story ran twenty pages. Kim's "Confessions of an English Teacher" emphasizes the importance of finding a time and place to be honest about the feelings teachers are often too embarrassed to admit to their colleagues.