When it comes to making the right choices for children with disabilities, families are the experts. Family and friends want to help--but many times don't have the words, or don't know what to do. They need leading on what to do and say--especially if a person has been on his/her journey a long time. In this article, the author uses an analogy of the redwood trees which have shallow root systems, but intertwine and hold fast as storms blow in from the ocean. She stresses that the same should be true of families and friends--they should strive to intertwine their hands and their hearts to hold each other up and strengthen one another. She offers suggestions to help families during the chaos, and the calm.