This autobiographical narrative explores the life and experiences as a parent (the white mother) of racially mixed children, identified by society and their family as black. The author's search is to understand her own whiteness, rather than to understand the blackness of her family. Her feminist perspective means that she examines race and gender together, particularly as she explores her relationship with and parenting of her son. Early chapters discuss the author's coming to terms with her own ambiguous racial position and her relationship with her husband before the birth of her son. The child's developing awareness of racial categories and gender roles is considered, as are ways of awakening racial identities. The author draws on her son's school experiences as a grounding narrative when explaining how schools teach racism. A final chapter considers relationships between black and white women in the framework of the contemporary women's movement. Reflections largely stem from the birth of the author's daughter. (Contains 80 references.) (SLD)