This article is a reflective account of a researcher's journey whilst embarking on a study which was political in its intentions and participatory in its orientation. Learning from feminist writings, where researchers have shared stories and explored notions of insider/outside, academic/activist, the central argument of the article is the development of an activist approach to environmental education research. The article draws on a doctoral research study which was a critical ethnography of a school and community engaged in a socially critical approach to environmental education. If I had tried to enter "I may have never been invited" If I had seen the cracks "I may have fallen in" If I had seen your tears "I may not have cried with you" If I had strained to hear "I may not have heard your voices" If I had sought the one true story "I may have never known" If I had watched your struggle from a distance "I may have never shared your pain" Reflective prose, Researcher's Personal Journal, September 1994. (Contains 1 table.)