This paper examines how the interconnected aspects of the stance triangle (Du Bois 2007) allow speakers to tap into multiple ideological layers as they take a stance and reveal intra-ethnic group tensions. Using a detailed interaction analysis of a Chinese American family's multilingual interaction, the paper explores how such ideological dynamics are associated with stance, and considers their relationship to emergent (Bucholtz and Hall 2004a; 2004b; 2005) and brought-along identities. Specifically, the paper analyzes how seemingly conflicting bivalent stances towards an increasingly dominant language (Mandarin) and its speakers discursively frame that group and their language as both similar to and different from the interaction's speakers and their own language (Cantonese). Through this downplaying and highlighting of similarities and differences, the participants' interaction captures not only the dynamics of an individual's identity but also the larger ideological dynamics of an ethnic community as its structure, and what it means to be a member, change over time.