In July 2012, "The Lancet" announced a pandemic of physical inactivity and a global call to action to effect change. The worldwide pandemic is said to be claiming millions of lives every year. Asserting that physical inactivity is pandemic is an important moment. Given the purported scale and significance of physical inactivity around the world, this research examines how the pandemic is rhetorically constructed and how various solutions are proposed. We apply a governmentality perspective to examine the continuity, coherence and appropriateness of ideas about physical activity. The analysis demonstrates that within "The Lancet," there is disunity about what is known about physical activity, problematic claims of "abnormality" and contradictions in the proposed deployment of a systems approach to solve the problem. The article concludes by suggesting that as knowledge produced about physical activity grows, scholars need to beware of nostalgic conceptions of physical activity, account for the immense diversity of lived experiences which do not abide by idealistic recommendations and consider more rigorously contentious claims about physical activity programme effects.