The author, a Manhattan-based psychotherapist, contrasts the fascinating but profound differences between the autobiographical narratives of young college students and the free-associative unconscious voices of patients engaged in the process of psychotherapy. The author begins by recounting the immense impact of his own divorce upon his subsequent professional and personal life. "The Children of Divorce: Stories of Loss and Growth" by John Harvey and Mark Fine is cited as a compelling chronicle. The unique non-linear characteristics of the unconscious voices of patients in psychotherapy are then described. Certain universal themes and traumatically charged scenes that are the aftermath of divorce are examined. The pervasive, defensive denial of the aftermath of survivors of divorce is then explored. The author challenges the popular wisdom of those who, like Judith Wallerstein, believe children are almost invariably worse off after the divorce than before. Drawing on his own extensive studies of the self, the author then places divorce within the broader context of the pathological inhibition of true intimacy that seems endemic to much of our culture. Finally, the author suggests that the real foundational glue of all relationships, including family systems (with or without marriage) is intimacy and not attachment.