Ubiquitous "sex tips" in popular media evidence an unquenchable public interest in learning how to experience "great sex," and studies confirm that a great sexual relationship correlates to general relationship satisfaction, which in turn correlates to overall happiness. However, sexologists have paid scant attention to "optimal sexuality" and have focused instead on sexual dysfunction. While studies of optimal sexuality are few, we know enough to conclude that the paths to great sex depicted in popular media are largely dead ends. This article provides a framework for giving professional guidance to seekers of optimal sexuality.