This article imagines the comparative education community as a tribal grouping. Using traditional anthropological categories, it explores how tribal membership is established and the rites and rituals that bind the tribe; questions of kinship among the larger family groupings within the tribe; belief systems; questions of social stratification in relation to the tribal hierarchy; and the persistence of warfare in this relatively peaceful group. While the article's approach and tone are lightly spoofing, the conclusion raises more serious questions about this tribe and its place in the contemporary world.