A study investigated whether various measures of communication competence would be more positively associated with constructive message strategies than with either destructive or avoidance strategies, and whether individuals would prefer a partner to be constructive rather than being constructive themselves. Subjects were 114 college students who were asked to find partners (spouses, romantic intimates, close friends, friends, or relatives) willing to help them complete the survey. The dyads completed a questionnaire concerning one specific interpersonal conflict that they had experienced and the behavior each partner had displayed during that conflict; a measure of relational competence designed to measure both self-competence and other-competence during a conversation; and an interpersonal communication satisfaction inventory. Results showed that perceptions of interpersonal competence were positively related to the use of constructive message strategies in situations of interpersonal conflict. Constructive behavior was positively associated with perceptions of self-competence, other-competence, and relational competence. In addition, perceptions of competence were linked to the use of constructive strategies by one's partner as well as oneself. (FL)