Conflict almost necessarily results from change on the part of one or both participants in a relationship. Four levels at which interaction may lead to conflict are disagreement, misunderstanding, feeling misunderstood, and failure of realization of understanding. Conflict may take place when the issue is directly salient to one partner but only indirectly salient to the other, when both parties are directly involved but the situation is external to the relationship, and when the relationship itself is at issue. Two modes of expression properly used can help conflict be negotiated: the expressor mode, expressing what one is feeling or thinking about an issue, and the empathic mode, allowing the other person to do the same. In the expressor mode, people should own their own perceptions, identify their feelings, state positive aspects of the situation, describe the situation in behavioral terms, and describe desired behavior. Skills needed in the empathic mode include not asking questions, not presenting a person's own perceptions, not interpreting, not making suggestions, and not making judgments. A person may be a facilitator by teaching the skills of the two modes to others after being trained. (TJ)