The responses of friends and acquaintances of parents whose child has died as the result of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome can be helpful and supportive or they can be guilt-producing, painful, and destructive. Some destructive responses experienced by parents in those circumstances include questioning such as, "Did you...?" which implies that somehow the parents were neglectful and responsible for the death; silence, which may be eloquently accusing or isolating if it is the silence of avoidance; suggestions that the baby be forgotten, which encourage the parents to deny the existence of a baby; "Well, you're young," which assumes that another baby can simply replace the dead one; and "at least" statements "at least the baby didn't suffer,""at least you have other children" which deny the validity of the parents' feelings. The most helpful responses, whether verbal or nonverbal, are those responses that allow the parents to cry, express anger, talk about guilt, and vent hostility. (TJ)